Helping My Sweet Friends Adopt a Baby

I am really hoping that you feel Carri's presence in this post. She was such a proponent for women whether they wanted children or not. She didn't even care when her car was stolen while she was at Meeting because she figured whoever took it needed it more than her. I'm appealing to you, my West Coast friends because they need all the help they can get. Please learn  about this couple with links to their blog and also to their gofundme.com campaign where, even if you can't or don't want to leave money for this adoption process, you can write words of encouragement.
Deep Breath.
Here goes:

Hello, friends of Leanne and Wes Munn! (And the friends you will become with them once you read their story.) My name is Tanya and I'm a friend of this wonderful couple- this Mommy-and-Daddy-in-Waiting and I just wanted to talk a little bit about this adoption journey from the point of view of this mommy who never felt it laid upon her heart to go that route the way the Munns have.

Getting pregnant was easy for my husband and I. Staying pregnant was another story. We mourned our losses and even thought that parenthood might not be in the cards for us. We only considered adoption once but once the financial aspects of it were explained to us we realized that parenthood might always be just beyond our grasp. I was beyond hurt and the hole in my heart seemed to grow every day.

For some reason, I was under the impression that you just needed to be a good person and a good couple with a steady income and a desire to be a mommy and daddy in order to be considered by a potential birth mother. What I've learned from my limited glimpses into the Munn's journey through the adoption process is that A) In the ten years since I made my first call to the adoption agencies, the financial aspect has only increased and B) Now, thanks to the Internet and sites like gofundme.com. It is now easier than ever to be a part of bringing together one of the greatest gifts God ever intended for a lot of our lives. I mean, if a man can get thousands of dollars from annonymous donors online to buy supplies to make the best potato salad ever, surely we can help to find a forever home for a sweet and needful baby. What's that saying? “It takes a village to raise a child.” Will you or someone you care about be a part of that village? Oh, how I hope you will. Once upon a time we didn't have to ask for a village to help. It was expected; it was freely and happily given and appreciated and absolutely essential. This is an essential time now. What will your loving heart have you do tonight, next week, next month? You mothers and fathers who remember that first cry, that first giggle, that first terrifying fever, that first time you left them in the care of someone else for just a couple of hours so you could feel like a grown up again.

What was your first step toward parenthood? Perhaps you were taken by surprise and you tripped over your dog and fell into the bathroom sink. Perhaps you used charts and thermometers and gave each other an obligatory hug before scheduling little Ryan's entire life on your ten year calender. Perhaps you put it all into the hands of God. No matter how it came to be, I'll bet that no one did a background check on you when your stick turned pink.

For Wes and Leanne the first step was to get Wes well after he was diagnosed with CML (a form of leukemia) five years ago. He's done it! We are all so glad he's still with us! The next step was to complete a long $500 preliminary application where they paid for fingerprinting, undergoing background criminal checks, a couple of adoption classes and , because they are going through a Christian Adoption Agency, they had to write out their testimonies. They've passed all those tests with flying colors. (I knew they would...) But now they need to move forward because, let's face it, they are stuck. Stuck in the financial adoption doldrums. Stuck in their beautiful home with an empty crib. They need to take the next step which is the Home Study with a Social Worker. However, the home-study is not inexpensive.. In fact, it's 3 times more than the application. Ouch!. And let's not forget, if they're chosen they will have to come up with at least $10,000 at the moment the baby is handed over.

I think back to when I was finally expecting my first child and how thankful I was that my co-pays and blood testing and ultrasounds were covered by my insurance. Nothing was due up-front and once my special son, the boy I waited my whole life to meet, was born I was able to make a payment plan that didn't strain our budget.These babies are already gestating in their adoptive parents' hearts. I wish this meant that they could get the kind of coverage that a biological parent can get but maybe one day...This is a very real concern for potential adoptive parents, as I see it, anyway.

The Munns are not only a loving couple, they are a hard working couple who both work at the same college. Wes teaches Anatomy and Physiology to Nursing students and Leanne is Assistant Director in Assessments. They give their jobs everything they can and take pride in working to help others. They put nothing, however, before God and they delight in making surprise dinners for each other, taking their dog for walks together, leaning hard on faith and are often quiet in their prayers for their hearts' greatest desire. So let me, their loud, unabashed friend, put it out there “They are ready for that baby!!! They are financially, emotionally and maritally stable. They are creative and loving and they share these gifts with each other and anyone who's lucky enough to stand in their light.” They simply don't have all the funds needed at one time. Again, think back to your own pregnancy or a friend's and ask yourself “Did I have to pay off that $10,000 at my check-ups?”

Wes is the best photographer this side of the Mason-Dixon Line (ok, that's just my opinion.) with great prices and a willingness to work wherever you need him to and Leanne often goes along as his more than able assistant. This is a couple doing all they can to get on that Waiting List. They're not just sitting around waiting for you to donate your hard earned money. They are thankful for every penny and all the love they feel everytime someone or their donation says “I believe in you and your family. Here's my donation.” It takes a village to raise a child. Yes, it does. But sometimes, it takes a village to make a family.

Here is the link where you can help out with either donations or words of encouragemnt.:

http://www.gofundme.com/5q94hw

Here is a link to Leanne's heartfelt blog:

http://calltoadopt-wesandleanne.blogspot.com

P.S. August is Leanne's birthday month and she is the biggest coffee lover. For her adoption challenge she and anyone who wants to help with a donation is being asked to forgo the cost of one cup of coffee a week until September 1^st. Thanks so much! I know you'll give it much thought and if it feels right to you, you'll find a way to help. It's the one thing I remember the most about the people out West.

Meltdowns, Melancholy, Mental Illness, Mania and it's Flip Side

Having a bad day....So bad that I just typed half a page and my pinky hit THAT button, THAT vengeful, hateful, spiteful key that I can never identify which erases all I've written and by the time I realize that I've made the mistake I've made another keystroke that prohibits the whole "Undo" icon process.
So now, to add to the drama of the day I'm mad at an inanimate object.
Earlier today I was on Cloud Nine, typing away on my laptop, excited to be writing something for some friends of mine (that they never asked me to do) that I hoped would help change some lives. These folks have been so good to me for a few years now, I thought maybe my words could make a positive difference at this juncture in their lives.  They so deserve to have some more blessings tossed their way after fighting CML (a form of leukemia) for years and hoping year after year to have a baby. I got all big-headed and realized that I didn't just want them to be blessed, I wanted them to be blessed because of something I did. See, me and God have had a unique relationship. I tell him what I want and He either loves me and gives it to me, doesn't love me and refuses my request, looks down on me and says "Meh. Next please." This time, though, I was certain He would be so impressed with how much energy and thought I put into it, even praying over it, that He'd bind it up with a gold ribbon and hand it over to all the good people waiting to be blessings to this couple.
Then I read someone else's blog whose topic was similar as my essay and hers was...better. So much better I almost ran out and bought the gold ribbon myself as a gift for her.
And then....
From the next room, a commercial (one of those extended ones that make you think they're an actual program) for Cancer Treatment Centers of America came on. All at once I was spiraled back to that time when I arranged for Carri to go check them out. She really only went to humor me. She really felt that she had all the same amenities in her hometown, just in several locations versus one. Because she was so smart I went along with her even though inside I was screaming "Please! Look at their statistics! Give it a try! Do it for me! Please, please, please!" (I did a lot of internal screaming back then. That might be why I turned into even more of a basket case than I started out as.)
Hearing the commercial, the deeply moving voices, stilled my fingers on the laptop. All of a sudden, for the first time in four years I felt something deep in my belly. I couldn't really identify it. Whatever it was, the lid was trying to come off and something was trying to come up. I began to be afraid. What was this? Oh, God, Oh Father, Oh Lord, please save me I think I'm dying! (It was at this point my husband looked up from his video game and ran to my side begging me to tell him what was wrong but I couldn't speak now.) A gasp escaped all on its own. Oh, no! What was happening to me? I'm on new medication. Could it be an allergic reaction? I couldn't even hear the commercial anymore. Ian's mouth was moving but nothing was coming out. Another gasp, this one more forceful followed by a sound my vocal chords have never made-a guttural wail that lasted about twenty seconds which terrified my husband and kids. Thankfully, daddy ushered the kids to their play area and turned up the tv and closed the door before repeatedly asking "Will you tell me what's wrong now? Tanya! Snap out of it and answer me! What's wrong?!"
"I....can't....talk....I....can't...I.... can't...do...this"
"Do what? What can't you do?"
"I...can't...let...it...out....it's...going...to....hurt....so...much!" Another wail.
"Please stop, baby. Please. What brought this on? I thought you were fine."
That's one of the problems, I guess. I've gotten very good at being "fine."
All of a sudden, I heard a voice in my head I haven't heard since the middle of the night phone call telling me that Carri died. "She's gone." I took it really well back then. I barely cried. I was just glad she was free of the pain.
Oh, God! She's gone! She's gone! (Mind you, this is years after the fact, 3 years
 to be precise.) I can't breathe! She's gone! We'll never see her again. Oh, how I want a trip out west just to stand  in the air she used to breathe, just to be near her friends, just to visit her favorite haunts and hikes and hot springs and try all those new crazy things that no one else ever got me to try.
The wails kept coming, the lid was blown, along with my cover of being just "fine".  Here's something funny: with all of my loyalty and love for her I've been accused of being in-love with her. Yesterday, I found a card from her that said "I don't know what makes this long distance love affair of ours last but I sure am glad that it has." We were best friends. We were blessed. And now I'm here and she's not. And I don't know how to put the lid back on. Do I talk about her to my new friends to keep her memory alive? Do I keep the memories to myself so as not to hurt my new friends?
So, it was GRIEF that exploded from the depths of my belly. It didn't kill me. It. Did. Not. Kill. Me. It did hurt like crazy but once it left my body I felt lighter than I have in a long time.
Now for the crazy part. In case you hadn't picked up on it: I'm bipolar and my meds are being adjusted. So far so good. I only sleep about three hours a night but my living room and kitchen have never been cleaner. My kids are happy they have a mom who doesn't go to sleep at 7 o'clock pm anymore. I'm even getting creative with food menus.
Well, I've stopped crying now so I think this catharsis has done it's job.
May all of you be well in every aspect of your lives. You are loved!