A Little Further Down the Path Of Healing

I've often been told (and I mean, OFTEN) that I tend to overanalyze things especially when it comes to another person's feelings. In the fear of causing anyone any kind of distress or other negative emotion I often tie myself up into knots with worry.
For a while, after Carri died, I didn't think I was supposed to post on this blog because it was something I built for her to display her thoughts and her beautiful writings. I considered my writings kind of like filler. Her writing was the meat of what this blog was supposed to be. When she got sicker, I kept writing because she asked me to. But everything I wrote, I passed by her first for her approval (since most of what I wrote was about my perspective on our friendship.)
When I finally decided to write here again, it was a way to hold onto that friendship-onto her.
 Living three thousand miles away from her husband and sons and friends-living a thousand miles away from her grandparents and other friends who grew up with her-I felt very isolated and alone.
So many of those folks reached out to me, though, sharing their grief, their stories, their feelings and I will be forever thankful for that. They inspired me to write more.
Today, I made a change to the blog. And here's where Old Man Worry started twisting me up in those knots of worry.
I changed the Authorship from Carri and Tanya to just my name. Some would call this a tiny change. For me, it's a BIG step in my journey of healing and feeling whole again. Without Carri here to run my writings and ideas by, it doesn't feel right to sign her name to things that she might not have agreed with, liked, or wanted her name attached to.
I thought about just starting a new blog but this one was built with so much affection, hope for healing, hope for the future  and I feel so connected to her here that I just can't say good-bye to it.
I hope those of you who loved her will understand.
I also hope that all of you have found peace and healing or are well on your way to finding that. Let me know what you think because I really do care about your feelings...more than you'll probably ever know.
Love, Tanya