Some, maybe many people, wonder how Carri and I can be friends when we are so very, very different. (We've wondered it too and discussed it many times in our hour long morning phone calls.) I think both of us are still amazed that this friendship has endured almost twenty years...especially when you consider the way it really got kicked into high gear. Quite simply, our beloved, lithe, petite, softspoken Carri PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE! Yes, intentionally! She was trying to get a point across and boy, did I learn a valuable lesson. (That lesson will become clear soon.) She says I can do this story Justice and it's funny that she said that because "Justice" is how the whole fight got started.
November 1991...
Carri and I had already had a few sleepovers, sat next to each other at lunch and due to our last names starting with a B and C, we were usually assigned classroom seats right next to each other. Things were good but at that point our friendship wasn't anything exceptional, at least, not that we recognized.
History Class with Mr. Solmitz (an aging hippie with an afro hairstyle) was always interesting as he didn't really follow a curriculum. I don't think we opened our books in class more than ten times that year. What he valued most was discussion, especially about how current events related to history. He loved debate.
That infamous day, we started a topic about punishment and justice. I went first on this because I was, well, a loudmouthed, passionate Scorpio with very strong opinions about Justice. My take was that it was better to take some time to really plan out a proper punishment rather than immediate retribution. I liked the idea of the planning out the Perfect fate for some criminal. (Hey, I was fourteen years old, what did I know?)
Just then, my little quiet friend from one desk over chimed in. Apparently, my statement was just too much for her to bear in silence. "Excuse me, Tanya" she softly and politely interjected. "Are you telling us that if I punched you in the face right now, you would rather plot and plan my punishment than punch me right back? Honestly, Tanya, if I punched you right now, I guarantee you would hit me right back and it would make you feel a lot better than walking around seething with the anticipation of my punishment."
I was stunned. How could this girl know and understand so little about me? I don't say anything I don't truly believe and besides, she would never hit me. The idea hit me as preposterous and I laughed, sputtering out "But Carri, You would never hit me so this isn't even a real hypothetical to draw any conclusions from."
"But just for the sake of argument, let's pretend I hit you..." said Carri before I quickly interrupted, " But you wouldn't, you just wouldn't." She tried again "But Tanya, let's just say", again, I interrupted "but you Wouldn't." Gosh, when would this kid get the hint, drop her unfathomable hypothetical and let me get on with making my case for the class? After trying in vain several more times to get me to agree to her scenario with me interrupting each "But Tanya", I saw her lips tighten into these two thin lines. I didn't see her fist clenching, I never noticed her arm drawing back and as I gave my "But Carri, you wouldn't!" protest one last time, she suckerpunched me. I was dazed, I was sore, I was on the verge of tears when I felt something well up inside me and then, just as she had predicted, I gave her my own right-hook!
Instead of the tears one would expect, this girl burst into laughter. Alas, she had proved her point about immediate grattification and my argument was blown out of the water by a 95lb waif. She laughingly said, "you feel better now don't you?" And as our classmates went from shock to laughter to applause, I started laughing too as we hugged each other and checked out each other's war wounds. Mr. Solmitz gave us an "A" for the day. And we've been best friends ever since.
Now class, here's that valuable lesson we all took away from class that day and it's a real good one that has served us all well.....DUCK!
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